GROWING OLD GRACEFULLY
As I got old I have realized that growing old gracefully is not that easy. Some cultures make it easier. In Africa and Asia elderly people are honored and respected, letting them walk with their heads high. That’s one reason why some foreign tourists are disliked in Japan because of their disrespectful attitude to the elderly. In Lesotho in Southern Africa, I heard of a young man sentenced into prison for a few months by a magistrate after he verbally insulted an elderly kitchen woman at the university cafeteria. The same court sentenced a boy who stabbed another boy in a fight but gave him merely six lashes.
The same tenet still dictates me. When I was ordained to be a minister of religion in Tokyo, I tried hard to look older because I had a childish visage. I don’t want to be young again. I remember the frustrations from inexperience and lack of self-confidence.
The ultimate insult for a Japanese man is having to ask for a fork at a Japanese restaurant. The muscles of my hands atrophied and can not handle chopsticks any more. Body parts are replaced by artificial ones one by one. When I reached the bottom of the staircase, I don’t remember why I came to the basement. The worst is dwindling cognitive functions. “Aging ain’t for a sissy.” said the late Stuart McLean. The most difficult thing is to acknowledge the reality of the aging process without self-pity. A person who is helping me by correcting mistakes and by updating my old database is not insulting me. They are saving me from disaster. I must recognize our reality of the aging process with dignity and accept the offer of help gratefully.
When libido recedes and memories disappear into ether, we find ourselves desperate to hang on to the only thing left intact: vanity of pride. Some old men become more greedy. There is nothing more pathetic to see than a shriveling old man trying to show off his wealth and power. The rich and the powerful die at the same age as average people. What they treasure doesn’t seem to add even a few months to their years. Death lets us know that pleasure, money and power are good only in the fleeting world, which is in Japanese called “Ukiyo.” You can not take money with you to the other side. Death is the most effective equalizer. Then I have to ask, “What for?”
After I got old it’s good that I do not make unwise decisions as often as I used to. It seems that accumulated knowledge have been sifted through a mesh. The stupid, trivial, and ugly seem to have been be exposed and blown into the wind.
It’s time to sit and wait for the spirit to catch up with me.